Basic skills in counseling orphans | orphan Light Insani Surabaya

Basic skills of counseling orphans

COUNSELLING SKILLS OF ORPHANS

Highlights
A. Skills to relate to clients
2. The Oral Communication Skills
3. invites the client to speak
4. encourage clients to continue talks
5. helping clients feel better
6. focusing on core issues
7. explore a variety of solutions and solve problems
8. Skills in Performing Non Verbal Communication

Building a Relationship

inter-personal relationships; involves two men in intimate communication and aims to provide reinforcement to the client.

Building trust (trust)

When clients feel understood her thoughts, feelings and point of view, then he began to dare to entrust themselves to the counselor. Even to the private area that only he and God alone knew, which he kept for years. Not easy to build client confidence to counselors.

There are people who trust level is low, there are also people who are its high levels of trust. For people who trust level is low, it would be hard pressed to build trust. Need some new meetings of the trust. But for those who trust level is high, once the meeting, he was able to believe.

Skills to relate to clients

Empathy

a willingness to feel what the client perceived, understood by understanding the client and see the client's perspective.

feel what is perceived by others is something that is not easy. Each of us has a different perspective on something different.

Empathy needs to be built through relationships and ongoing communication with clients.

The way her empathy verbally

Show a desire to understand the world of the client with the clarification and questions about the experiences and feelings of the client.

Discuss what is important: the show with the words that you put your attention on what is considered important by the client. There may be something for us it is not important, but it's very important for the client.

State the client's feelings, to reflect on what they felt the client.

Express implied behind the words clients.

The way her empathy secar a non-verbal

The counselor must pay attention to their body language, so when he feels tired, bored, angry, upset, etc., remained in control so that clients continue to feel accepted.

counselors should deal with clients with a friendly gesture, for example: eye contact, body position and the position of a client facing an open arm (no folded arms).

Usefulness of Empathy

Building trust (trust)
When clients feel understood her thoughts, feelings and point of view, then he began to dare to entrust themselves to the counselor.
Stimulate self-exploration
If the client trusts the counselor, he would not hesitate to tell the deepest parts or even all this is known only to himself. Exploration is important for counselors to know the hidden things are often the cause of mind, emotions and maladaptive behaviors. Because that look beyond just a fraction of the truth.
Assessing perceptions
What are counselor understand the client needs to be delivered back to clients for review because it is not necessarily what she understood as the understanding of the client. When delivered the match then there is the perception.
Provide support
If a person feels understood what and no matter how her thought, she did not hesitate to try new patterns because whatever happens it will be understood. He feels there are still people who want to know and understand, how he was alone. That makes the power for him to try a new lifestyle.
Focus the discussion
With empathy the client is directed to only talk about the importance of the root of all problems experienced and the less useful to avoid the things that are not really related to the problem. Often when people come he talked at length. If the client began to talk to other matters unrelated to the problem, then with empathy skills, counselors can focus direction back to the important conversation that should be discussed first.
Facilitate intervention
Interventions are forms of assistance to be rendered on the client. Intervention is critical in counseling. If the client feels understood the counselor will easily provide the proper intervention, the client would be more cooperative.
Differentiate with Sympathy
Sympathy will reduce the sharpness of the counselor as dissolved in the client's feelings, so that the mentoring process can not run properly.
For example, a client upset and crying, Konsekor sympathy bandwagon crying too, it should not happen. We need to sort out where the client's feelings and where the feelings of a companion. So we will not dissolve the feelings of the client or the client's struggles will not continue after we bring home, not be remembered.

Expressing Empathy, Sincerity and Warmth

Displaying Understanding: demonstrate understanding. Example: Client: 'I really find it hard to make a decision, if she let me stay in the orphanage'. Counselor; 'It seems she felt heavy when she lived at the center ...'.

Translate the client's feelings into words. For example, feelings of guilt. 'You always avoid when met with Dito, you seem to feel guilty, so is it true?,.

Provide support to express a different attitude to what is expected of counselors.'' I feel you are not agree with what I say, can you tell me how you feel about what I'm talking about? '.

Self Disclosure: supporting clients to explore things in a way that is sensitive counselor recounts.

The Oral Communication Skills

Invites the client to speak

Before you start the meeting and a more in-depth conversation with a client, do the observations of the client. Note:

Is he now a quiet, withdrawn and uncommunicative, but usually he is cheerful, funny, loving and energetic.

Does he seem arrogant and selfish, padalah usually cooperative?

Does he repeatedly talked about a problem, such as money, sick, lazy?

Is it neat and not wrinkled when normally he always looks neat?

Are his eyes swollen like she's been crying?

Is sad expression, unwell or anxious?

Is he reluctant eye contact with you?

Whether the depressed tone, his voice halting or trembling?

If your clients have any of these symptoms, he was having emotional problems or problems that need to be solved.

The first step is to invite the client to talk to say what you saw concerning his actions. Say with a specific and concrete sentences. Example:

'I see you some time out of the study, go to the bathroom? whether there msalah with your stomach? '

Lay people tend to use a common phrase, for example, 'you seem easily distracted these days?'. This sentence is an interpretation, rather than stating facts. Commentators often use the phrase does not necessarily correspond with the intention of the client. Besides using a sentence interpretation is also at risk, you may inadvertently accuse, judge, or even clients.

Complete your solicitation response to the phrase 'I feel worried, is there anything to disturb you? or are you okay? '. This sentence will not call directly to the client to speak, and serves to ascertain whether the client has an annoying problem or not.

Initial invitations to speak should consist of a feedback question and a question to ascertain whether the person has a problem or not.

Counselors need to be careful when taking a client to talk, look at the situation so that he does not feel humiliated, if it is present at the time of someone other than the client who heard the conversation. Please also note that people prefer to conceal the problem, and feel embarrassed if others knew. Therefore, often times when we ask how are you, then get more answers good or even very good, though in fact they're in trouble. In addition, many people strongly believe that other people will not listen to their complaints. Meeka feel so useless when told the problem to others

Counselors also need to know whether the time is right to talk. Counselors need to see if the client is working on many tasks, such as when children are facing examinations alone. If this is ignored it will further add to the anxiety of clients. Counselors are required to be sensitive in determining when they need to talk with his client.

If the invitation is rejected counselor, what to do? do not rush you consider this sebabagi personal sentiment. Most people are very selective in determining who the people who deserve their trust. If you are positively supportive and accepting of people who say no to you, the person will not feel embarrassed to ask for your assistance in the future.

If you feel that it would like to discuss with the klin others, then you can memebri support by saying;

'MIF, if I have a personal problem, I feel the need to talk with people I trust. Sometimes I talk to friends, teachers or counselors. Do you feel the need to talk to friends or other people you trust? '

encourage clients to continue talks

Respect your clients, listen carefully and attentively when he was telling me the problem. Seriousness, care and patience you can encourage clients to continue the conversation. So show that you listen attentively, show also that you understand what he said.

When the counselor should listen to his show response to positive cues, such as by saying, 'I appreciate you, what you say is important, and if you want to tell more?

Use your eye contact to show that you care and listen well. However, constantly staring at the person who is speaking is not correct, because he would feel uncomfortable. Do not also listen to the client to look away. Note also the facial expressions while listening to clients talk. Indicate your attention with facial expressions that are open, so that clients feel good you are really listening.

Give short responses. With a nod and a brief word, like ya .. ya .. I understand, yes, I know. Vareasikan between verbal and non verbal responses.

Also show that you understand what the client told. Indicate your understanding by reflecting feelings and content of the conversation. Is it a reflection? when you look in the mirror, you see your shadow, and it gives important information about your own body. When you help someone and you do the reflection, you like standing in front of the mirror. You reflect on what is being said and felt.

Examples of reflection of feeling, 'you disappointed?'

Reflection of the conversation,'' you wish to call your parents? '.

Reflection of feelings and content, "you feel disappointed because people taumu not you call? '

Use your own words when reflecting feelings and content of the conversation. Words that express emotional feelings (negative); sad, confused, frustrated, depressed, lazy, guilt, horror, fear, anger, angry, annoyed, slumped, disappointed, anxious, frustrated, tired, embarrassed, hate.

Words that show a positive emotional expressions: happy, satisfied, happy, excited, proud, happy, amazed, amazed.

In providing reflection, give the first opportunity for a moment of silence after the client stops talking. Do not rush to give a reflection. Perhaps their clients want to continue the conversation.

Benefits of reflection:

Encourage someone to realize that you have listened and understood what he was saying.

Allows one to better understand the emotional feelings and the contents of the conversation.

Encouraging someone to continue the conversation.

helping clients feel better

Sometimes, clients feel relieved after telling the problem without feeling the need to continue the process. Successful talks end when able to bring a pleasant situation, or at least make the client feel more comfortable than ever before.

Counselors are able to actively listen, be more successful in helping clients feel more comfortable. Counselors need to do a validation to show that the counselor you understand what is said terhdap clients. Counselors can use the phrase, 'I understand your explanation, I understand what you tell, I can understand your feelings, I can imagine what you went through'

Counselors often encounter clients who do not want to admit his feelings, that he hated the man, angry or sad. They actually said the opposite, like 'I do not hate him, I am not angry, I'm fine' ...

In this situation, the counselor can respond by saying;

"You actually feel hate, and in my opinion, hate it okay ... '

'I thought you were really angry, and if I'm in such circumstances, I might as well be angry' ...

'Indeed you feel sad, I can understand how you feel' ...

Validation is done by the counselor is a form of affirmation of the true feelings of the client but the client felt he should not feel like it, or at least the client did not feel like her true feelings known. With the validation of the counselor wanted to show his clients 'fine you if you feel resentful, angry or disappointed, you have reason to feel like it ...'

Validation will further support the client to recognize the emotional feeling of authenticity. If a fully internalized feelings, he would disappear or turn into a more pleasant feeling.

focusing on core issues

Formatting a client to be able to focus on core issues, the counselor needs to take steps; summarize, ask questions, provide feedback statement.

Summarizes the

Summary contains the most important parts of what was told the client and the client felt. Summary can be made many times during the conversation. By submitting a summary, counselor to the client shows a clearer picture, so he can better focus on the core problem.

Asking the question

Keep in mind that it is too important to use questions to encourage clients to talk about his problems. Often the use of the question precisely because it cut off the conversation disturbing. Questions can deflect attention from the issue of assisted-msalah experienced real important.

Therefore, the question needs to be saved and filed carefully. Avoid asking questions that are not important and less relevant to the counseling process. Although we have won the trust of clients, we can not fully know everything about the client. Do not let the counselor asked only to satisfy his curiosity or because the information is of interest to counselors.

Note also, that the client has its own ways of delivering something, so, let the conversation flow without having counselors frequently interrupted with questions.

Ask questions as little as possible, prioritizing the questions that really useful. If too many questions, the counseling process will turn into an interview or even like an interrogation. If the client already bombarded with many questions, step back, and do reflection.

Useful questions are questions that help clients focus on the core of the problem, helping to continue, helped him better understand the problems faced.

Examples;

'I noticed a few times you are talking about your relationship with your classmates Susi. Would you tell me more about this matter?,

'There's more that I want you to tell me?

if you want to ask a question, the counselor should use open questions. Open questions will ask the client to talk more freely and provide more extensive answers. Unexpected information can be obtained if we use an open question. Open-ended questions also encourage people to develop answers and continue the conversation.

Instead just open ended questions and short answers short, like it or not, so it did not obtain complete information. Bandingkah question, whether you like kursusmu activities? with the question, 'how kursusmu?

The question 'why' should not be used because not a lot of benefits, and even tend to judge a client. For example, 'why do not you go up a class?. but it can also divert the question why in a conversation about her past, of the problems that disrupt it today.

Examples of open questions;

How do you feel now?

What do you feel now?

What options do you have now?

Give feedback questions, so that clients remain focused on core issues. Examples;

It seems that you are facing difficulties to explain it?

You look depressed!

Seems to be too hard on you to make a decision!

Feedback questions will encourage clients to stop for a moment, then pushed him to think and re-focus on msalahnya.

explore a variety of solutions and solve problems

The solution must match the person that has problems. The counselor should not provide solutions to kleinnya, counselors should respect the client's ability to find their own solutions. Respect the rights of clients to determine their own choices.

If clients choose solutions that are clearly having a negative impact (disturb him and anyone else), counselors have a responsibility to remind him.

There are several steps you can take a counselor to help clients find solutions, namely:

Give the client sufficient time to formulate some alternative solutions.

Encourage clients to assess alternatives with different consequences.

Asking questions that are specifically membentunya to choose the best solution.

The questions can be asked by the counselor to encourage clients find solutions;

I do not know how to handle it, if you have any ideas?

I think the important thing is that any judgment, should suit you. What are alternatives?

I can help you discuss some alternatives if you think it will be useful for you!

What other options?

Are there other things you can do?

Is there another way?

Get you imagine what would happen if you chose the first alternative?

How would you feel if you choose that alternative?

What are the advantages and disadvantages when choosing an alternative that?

What would you get if you do it?

What are the disadvantages if you do it?

In Non Verbal Communication Skills

Eye contact: eye show our emotions. Through eye contact show a desire to talk, listen and listen.

Facial expressions: do not impress us as being examined, or even thinking about something else, or blame the client. Show a friendly face to smile, nod kepala.Jangan mengeryitkan forehead, shook his head, or surly, or even red with anger, vibrant lips.

The position of the body: not in a position face to face, because you will look aggressive, sit in a position somewhat menyerong, to be comfortable in communicating. Table will make the distance, the communication is open, the social worker will look more superior. Clients need a safe and comfortable position. Customize your seating distance with clients, consider whether the client feels comfortable when you close or how the response if you are too far away.

Hand movements; it is also often a person's emotional state. Crossing your arms, put his hand on neck, the body that seem to express a rigid defensiveness. Place your hands next to (consider the local culture), so it will feel more open. Clenched hands indicate anger or anxiety. Play with your fingers, massaged, suggesting someone is nervous.

Dress and Appearance; appearance we show who we are. A good appearance will impress people that we are professional and responsible. Note that there are clothes to wear, when the boy was facing children, adolescents, and adults.